epiphaneia

Musing, thoughts and tales. Sometimes I just need a place to lay down a few thoughts, to try to clear a little space in my head. Feel free to take a look through my musings yourself.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Everest

Last weekend, saturday to be precise, I in a team if four, took our traditional working curragh ( A Naomhóg Curragh) out in an event called the Ocean to City Race here in Cork. It happens once a year, and is a 15 mile race in "fixed seat, traditional type, rowing boats". Rowing is something I have only recently taken up. On the team was my brother, rowing for 8 weeks after a break of 10 years from it, my cousin who has ben rowing 8 weeks, a friend if my cousin's who has been rowing 3 weeks, and myself, who has been rowing 6 weeks.

We only really started training for the race 3 weeks ago, with long back breaking row's across the rough and windswept Lough Mahon, and up and down and across the waters between Crosshaven and Cobh, no mean feat for the inexperienced rower. Out to Roches point, with the swell reaching up to 2 meters at times. Our 26 foot, 4 man currach seemed so small and vunerable, yet she never took in water, or at any stage threatened to let us down. The Meithel Meara built Naomhóg "White Whale" was the boat we were allowed use for the race.

As we set out from Crosshaven on race day, the rain stopped, the clouds fled and the sun came out to bake us slowly on our way. We set off a good deal faster than we had trained for, I suppose the natural competitiveness took over, and we certainly didn't want to let the other Curragh's in our own class dissappear from view. So Tariq set a good steady pace, that soon had us neck and neck with another Curragh from Namhóga Chorcaí. The boat Rinceoir na Greine (Dance of the Sun / Sundancer) was holding true to her name as she danced through the sunlight, making light work of the winds and tides that hammered her. Her crew were smiling and obviously enjoying the challenge. We took a slightly different route, and though ours seemed longer at first, it meant we has less trouble from the currents and winds further on when we had to turn around the marker bouy's at cobh.

We swept up the coast, staying close to Cobh so the current along her shores helped us a little, though the wind blowing against us was probably cancelling the benefit of the current. In the distance behind us we could see the skiff's and dragon boats had set out and were rounding the first bouy. They weren't long in catching up with us. We passed a few Curragh's on our way up that straight, the winds were strong and caught the curragh's like sails spinning us if our man on steering didn't hold us steady. My brother Daragh put in a champion effort, calling when he needed assistance, Pull right, pull right, and we did, we held her straight on course, gaining ground. As we came to the last marker on the straight, before we turned right for Monkstown, Daragh roared to ship left oars, we did and as he roared again to pull hard right we saw the last marker bouy inches away from our left, as our Curragh pulled an almost "hand braked turn" around the bouy. It was gratifying to see the coast guards cheering our manouver.

We were reinvigoured to hear the cheering at Monkstown as we swept by. It was a little soul destroying to see the skiffs, the river boats and the little kayaks sweep by at what seemed an astronomical speed, but our determination was fuelled by the sight of Rinceoir na Greine close on our heels at all times. We continued up the channel, our arms, and backs leaden, we took turns in dropping our oars and taking a drink of water while the other 3 carried the Curragh ever forward, ever gaining on our goal. Between Little Island and Passage West we passed a 3 man Naomhóg, "Mananán". Her 3 rowers looking exhuasted but determined. As I suppose we all were. It was in Loch Mahon we really saw the multitude of skiffs, whalers and longboats drive by us, the shouts of the cox of each boat thundering across the waves, grim determination on their faces, these were no fair weather, sunday morning rowers, which, I will admit I am.

When we past Blackrock Castle we overtook a 3 man (3 woman to be more accurate) skiff that had passed us earlier in the day, they had given all they had early on and were finding the increased current as the river narrowed, a tough challenge. I felt at that point I had given all I had to give too, we all had blisters on our hands, aches from head to toe, this was no training session, there had been no stopping for a cigarette break for 10 minutes here and there, no long breaks to relax, enjoy the sun on the water and have a chat. The last turn before home was ahead, and Daragh and Rona shouted encouragement. Infront of me I could see the grim set of Tariq's back as he set a faster pace again, drew from hidden reserves he didn't know he had. I don't know where I found the energy, or even the will to keep pace with these 'machines' I was lucky enough to have on the team with me, but from somewhere it came, I couldn't think, or talk, there was nothing but following the stroke of Tariq's oars. Praying silently in my head, perhaps to Mananán Mac Lír himself to grant us the strenght to finish what we had started, to ensure that I wouldn't fail my team and let them down so close to the end, perhaps the others were doing the same in their own minds, I don't know.

I heard the shout from Daragh as we passed Pairc ui Chaoimh, the end line was in sight. I would have liked to be able to write here, that I redoubled my efforts and raced gloriously over the line, as they would in the stories and books, but there was no surge, no burst of energy, no herculean final push, but I am proud to say we kept our pace and crossed the line, then as the current would only push a drifting curragh back down stream we rowed to the side where we threw a line up to one of the many waiting helpers, who were fantastic, helped us out of our curragh, though for myself and at least one of the others our knees were hard pressed to support us. Then they took the White Whale and put her up on the grass above for us. Where I laid out on the grass with no desire or strenght in me to rise again.

Overall, we came in 37th place. Time wise we were 39th. And out of our class, the 4 man Naomhóg's, we were 4th. I am honoured to have been a part of such an amazing event, I sat on the banks of the Lee and watched many more boats come in after us, seeing the struggle, knowing the pain those rowers were in. The achievement of having completed that course, regardless of position in the race, is one I am proud of, and I admire each and every other rower who did. Now that I have done it, I set out to accomplish my own little "Everest" and I succeded, I did better than I had hoped, we ran the whole course in 3hrs 2min and 45 seconds I'm told. I have a certificate from The Cork Port Authority and Meithel Meara among others to congratulate me on it, that certificate will be placed in a frame on my wall.

I am no Edmund Hillary nor Tom Crean, my accomplishment to many is a small paltry thing, am I egotistical to feel I have conquered my own Everest? Perhaps, nevertheless I feel proud, and I feel stronger and more capable of handling life than I ever did before. I think sometimes we need to set ourselves challenges that seem insurmountable, challenges that you really think might be pushing the boundaries a little too far. For when we rise to that challenge, when we push our limitations beyond the point we thought to be our peak, then we are all a little like those giants of history, the Edmund Hillary's, Roald Amundsen's, Shackleton or Scott.


The story after the race can be left for another time,
not quite as thrilling, my parents waiting on the banks of the Lee, the lost mobile phone, a few friends there to cheer us, (thanks Sibylle and Inga) a few pints, bad sunburn, an early night and waking stiff as a board. Perhaps I'll leave it out altogother, so in years to come when I read back back on this nostalgia can take hold and I'll only remember the accomplishment, and forget the price. :-)


Regards,
Conor

Friday, May 12, 2006

Hope?

I've recently been reading an amazing blog about an amazing woman, who is charting her life from becoming homeless and living in her car, and following her journey to rebuilding shattered self confidence to an end that will, hopefully, leave her back in society, living in her own place somewhere she can feel safe and secure, somewhere with curtains and doors that can shut out the great outdoors. http://wanderingscribe.blogspot.com/ is her blog. Well worth a read if you have the time.

That blog, more than most stories of human strenght and courage, has restored something in me that I hadn't realised I had lost. Something that many people in this modern global village seem to have lost. Her writing has given me hope. Now you may ask, Hope? Hope for what? And therein I think is why we have lost our hope, we have so little to hope for, for the majority of us in the first world there are safe guards, insurance both social and personal. We have a safety net and so few of us every really require true hope, the most hope we entertain is the 'hope' that I win the lottery, or 'hope' that I get that promotion, that payrise.

Wanderingscribe's writing touched me deeply, she never accepted her situation, she never gave in and said, "yup, this is it, learn to live with it". She clung to Hope, hope for something better, hope for a way out, hope for a warm cup of tea, hope for social interaction, a normal conversation in a coffee shop with another human being. Her strenght of character, her insistance that she would get herself out of her situation was admirable, but many people who fell off the social radar and faded out of society to join the forgotten people felt the same when they first found themselves 'on the streets'. The difference was 'hope', most people in her situation wait for help to arrive, wait for a way out to present itself. She didn't she took her hope and her courage and used it as a crutch, she leant on it and struggled out of the mire of depression and self pity that destroys so many in our world today.

I've never needed hope, or so I thought, if I needed something, I'd simple save up the cash and buy it, work extra hours or whatever it took. But life was missing something, I was just another member of the rat race, like so many others intending to follow the path of the lemming, travelling through life only to cast yourself into oblivion at the end. Working, sleeping, eating, that was my existence. Like that is the existence of so many of my generation now. But Hope, is like a cool beer after a trek across the desert, Ice Cold in Alex comes to mind. That moment, that cool, blissful cold beer, hope is like that, it fills you and satisfies you like nothing else can.

Wanderingscribe gave me hope, hope that in today's world of Religious fanatacism there is still the ability, the capability for greatness, for courage, for dignity and perserverance in humanity. We see a rise across the world of people of many different religions and creeds commiting disgusting acts in the name of their respective Gods, and now most of you are thinking "Ah, he means Al Queda, Islamic terrorists". I do not just refer to them, but also to the fanatics of other religions, in America we see Christian fanatics condeming books and films that disagree with thier beliefs, ie: attempts to have a childrens book 'Harry Potter' banned from schools because it's central theme's include magic, which is unchristian. These people have abandoned their saviour "The Christ", as he taught Tolerance and Love, yet we see nothing but intolerance and hate from these people. Intolerance of anything that is not of their faith, and hate of anyone who attempts to bring equality for all faiths. Some christians. I had thought the word Christian meant one who follow's christ, it seems today it is being hijacked by totalitarian fanatics. They wish to ram Jesus down your throat, the love is gone, the tolerance is gone. They try to have 'creationism' taught in science classes instead or alongside of Evolution.

And yes, Islamic terrorists have hijacked a peacefull, loving and holy religion in their lust for death and blood. Any Muslims I know are peacefull, friendly, open and welcoming people, yet like so many faiths around the world, the media only report the extremism. "Islamic man gives life to pull Christian neighbour from burning building" just wouldn't make a good headline. "Muslim terrorist burns neighbour alive" is far more 'eyecatching'. I think the worlds media bear a huge burden of guilt for their part in the way society is suffering a loss of hope.

The attempt to force your faith, be it Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Paganism or any of a thousand others, on another person, is an act of hate and an act of violence and destruction. You attempt to destroy that which gives this person hope and joy in life and supplant it with what you believ to be right. That is as violent a crime as surely as if you had torn their heart out and replaced with another. It is an assualt of the worst kind, an act of evil. But I degress, maybe that 'rant' is best kept for another post.

I suppose it is odd to me that in this world rife with hate and destruction and hopelessness, that my hope in humanity, my hope for the future, and my faith in the character and unconquerable strenght of humanity is restored, not by a great leader negotiating peace deals, or by religious figures preaching forgivness, not by the generousity of celebraties nor the actions of volunteer's be it feeding the famine struck or rebuilding New Orleans, but by a lone woman in the outskirts of London, sleeping in a car, writing her thoughts, her hopes and dreams, and catalogueing her struggle to rejoin society.

Wanderingscribe, if ever you read this, please accept my sincere thanks for sharing your thought and words with us. You have lit a small candle, given me back the flame of spirit that gives us our strenght, that allows us to truly see life in all it's beauty and grandeur. I know that was not your intention, but the fact that your helping me and others like me was incidental, in no way lessens the deed.

I truly hope you suceed, and I have an abundance of faith that you will.


Here's to peace, hope and happiness.

Conor

Thursday, May 11, 2006

All the good names were taken.

This is just a starter post on the blog. I wanted to call this blog Epiphany, but someone beat me to it! :-) My own fault, I've come late to this whole web logging enterprise. So I decided to dazzle you all with my verbosity and use the middle Greek word instead; 'Epiphaneia'. How very debonair of me.

Will post more here later, but as I'm in work right now, I think, perhaps, it's time to go and earn my wages.